System Repairs
Nov. 11th, 2015 07:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raynaissanceLol apparently we had our first system fight (apparently thats a thing)
cut for length
basically what happened was jesterday we woke up in an anders shift and he was feeling REALLY bad and missing hawke and stuff
a lot of stuff happened and ray got kind of burried and when they came back they freaked the hell out and thye did some really mean stuff to like. get back at him. for hogging the front for most of the day (we didnt remember a lot of what we had done at it WAS kind of freaky)
like they deliberately went seeking mean posts about anders and kept pushing everyone else down when they tried to shift in - but then they couldn't find the rest of us and freaked. out. and started regretting everyhting
it was really really scary and we/i thought we/i'd killed them all it was fcking scary and we didn't get any sleep
Leli and carver and bethany helped us thru it when they woke up they helped a LOT but
we said/did some really vicious stuff to each other
ray deliberately exposed anders to stuff calling him abusive; anders called ray a sociopath in response
it wasnt pretty
we mostly got it sorted out / came to a compromise but i think anders got triggered and left again
but yeah this is making us realize a LOT about ourself/ves like we need to start taking this whole system thing seriously. its so new so we're still getting used to it i
We're all PEOPLE. we're not just kintypes or whatever. we all share a consciousness and thoughts and memories but we also have individual needs and desires and ??? its very confusing identity is confusing and individuality is a big giant question mark
we're still really worried that people are going to up and vanish
what we REALLY need to do is work on a headspace. and on like. coping mechanisms? part of the issue rn i think is anders, for example, doesn't ahve any coping mechanisms in this universe. we don't even have a cat let alone Real magic or Garrett we thought we had justice for a little while but she's not here i guess? i miss her
its hard to be stranded in a strange universe with none of the things you normally used to cope when you're upset
especially when you get affected by other people's triggers and stuff??? apparently ray's issues w cops and anders' issues with templars are Similar enough to cause bad things sometimes
actually in general ray and anders are really similar people!!! which is probably what part of the issue was like they both wanted to be in charge to the point where the other almost didnt exist and they/we both went into fight mode when feeling threatened. it honestly would be funny because like. SO SIMILAR. similar personalities similar emotional issues similar political beliefs and just
human disaster salad indeed
fvck we should make that our median/system tag
but yeah (this post is taking 4ever to write bc we keep getting v v distracted)
there will be more on this in the future because we aren't going away!!! no matter how much it feels scarily like we might we. arent. we're gonna figure this out and its gonna be okay
cut for length
basically what happened was jesterday we woke up in an anders shift and he was feeling REALLY bad and missing hawke and stuff
a lot of stuff happened and ray got kind of burried and when they came back they freaked the hell out and thye did some really mean stuff to like. get back at him. for hogging the front for most of the day (we didnt remember a lot of what we had done at it WAS kind of freaky)
like they deliberately went seeking mean posts about anders and kept pushing everyone else down when they tried to shift in - but then they couldn't find the rest of us and freaked. out. and started regretting everyhting
it was really really scary and we/i thought we/i'd killed them all it was fcking scary and we didn't get any sleep
Leli and carver and bethany helped us thru it when they woke up they helped a LOT but
we said/did some really vicious stuff to each other
ray deliberately exposed anders to stuff calling him abusive; anders called ray a sociopath in response
it wasnt pretty
we mostly got it sorted out / came to a compromise but i think anders got triggered and left again
but yeah this is making us realize a LOT about ourself/ves like we need to start taking this whole system thing seriously. its so new so we're still getting used to it i
We're all PEOPLE. we're not just kintypes or whatever. we all share a consciousness and thoughts and memories but we also have individual needs and desires and ??? its very confusing identity is confusing and individuality is a big giant question mark
we're still really worried that people are going to up and vanish
what we REALLY need to do is work on a headspace. and on like. coping mechanisms? part of the issue rn i think is anders, for example, doesn't ahve any coping mechanisms in this universe. we don't even have a cat let alone Real magic or Garrett we thought we had justice for a little while but she's not here i guess? i miss her
its hard to be stranded in a strange universe with none of the things you normally used to cope when you're upset
especially when you get affected by other people's triggers and stuff??? apparently ray's issues w cops and anders' issues with templars are Similar enough to cause bad things sometimes
actually in general ray and anders are really similar people!!! which is probably what part of the issue was like they both wanted to be in charge to the point where the other almost didnt exist and they/we both went into fight mode when feeling threatened. it honestly would be funny because like. SO SIMILAR. similar personalities similar emotional issues similar political beliefs and just
human disaster salad indeed
fvck we should make that our median/system tag
but yeah (this post is taking 4ever to write bc we keep getting v v distracted)
there will be more on this in the future because we aren't going away!!! no matter how much it feels scarily like we might we. arent. we're gonna figure this out and its gonna be okay
